You ever have words inside you and have absolutely no idea how to get them out? It's like being stuck in mud and knowing exactly the tools you need to get yourself out (hell, they might even be right there next to you), but every time you try and use them everything gets all mixed up and you end up no better off than you were before.
I feel stuck a lot lately. As an individual, as an American, and as a human being, I feel like we're all stuck. Individually, I keep doing the same stupid shit over and over again, only to say, "As soon as X happens, I can do Y." Except X never happens, either because I'm too lazy to do it or too scared. As part of the national community, my perception (and it is very important that I emphasize that it is my perception and, as such, I havent' done any real, hard research to back this up) that our current credit crisis is the result of a great many people following the desire presented to them from various media outlets and a few others exploiting that lust and stupidity. I, myself, exist in that group of great many people that owns things we don't need, stuck chasing some dream. Lastly, as a human being, haven't we all fought about enough of the same stupid shit for centuries already? Certainly ideologies and viewpoints will always clash, but some of these battles today have been echoed for over a thousand years and, yet, we're still stuck in the same place now as we were then.
I feel negative, spiteful, or tired (sometimes combinations thereof) on a pretty much daily basis. I feel stuck and nothing I've done so far as gotten me unstuck. Maybe that's the way it's always been since I can't really remember a time when it hasn't been like this (barring childhood, but that's a whole different type of perception). Maybe this is how we've plodded through the millennia. <Insert relevant quote from belief system, i.e. karma/reincarnation, purgatory, etc...) >
I wish I had some profound answer for this, but I don't. I wish I had the words, or even the patience to have written this more eloquently, but I don't. I'm stuck watching myself and people around me in varying degrees and types of proximity repeat the same patterns.
I feel stuck a lot lately. As an individual, as an American, and as a human being, I feel like we're all stuck. Individually, I keep doing the same stupid shit over and over again, only to say, "As soon as X happens, I can do Y." Except X never happens, either because I'm too lazy to do it or too scared. As part of the national community, my perception (and it is very important that I emphasize that it is my perception and, as such, I havent' done any real, hard research to back this up) that our current credit crisis is the result of a great many people following the desire presented to them from various media outlets and a few others exploiting that lust and stupidity. I, myself, exist in that group of great many people that owns things we don't need, stuck chasing some dream. Lastly, as a human being, haven't we all fought about enough of the same stupid shit for centuries already? Certainly ideologies and viewpoints will always clash, but some of these battles today have been echoed for over a thousand years and, yet, we're still stuck in the same place now as we were then.
I feel negative, spiteful, or tired (sometimes combinations thereof) on a pretty much daily basis. I feel stuck and nothing I've done so far as gotten me unstuck. Maybe that's the way it's always been since I can't really remember a time when it hasn't been like this (barring childhood, but that's a whole different type of perception). Maybe this is how we've plodded through the millennia. <Insert relevant quote from belief system, i.e. karma/reincarnation, purgatory, etc...) >
I wish I had some profound answer for this, but I don't. I wish I had the words, or even the patience to have written this more eloquently, but I don't. I'm stuck watching myself and people around me in varying degrees and types of proximity repeat the same patterns.
Watch this rant about television. It starts at minute 4:06 and continues till the end (the first bit's about EastEnders and ties in nicely with the rant, but likely won't mean anything to you since none of us Stateside know what EastEnders is). Requiem for a Dream soundtrack in the background is hilariously appropriate.
I've got a larger opinion on this brewing, but, frankly, I don't have the energy to write it up. So, in the meantime, I'll say this: I'm pretty sure everything he rants about is why we're currently in the middle of this fucked up credit crisis. Happened 80 years ago and it'll happen again.
I've got a larger opinion on this brewing, but, frankly, I don't have the energy to write it up. So, in the meantime, I'll say this: I'm pretty sure everything he rants about is why we're currently in the middle of this fucked up credit crisis. Happened 80 years ago and it'll happen again.
To be fair, I awoke not to the sound of the rain so much as to the sound of the roof's drainpipe (which is bolted to one of my exterior walls) belching whatever mixture of rocks, bird poop, and water that had collected at the beginning of its rather short journey. For most that visit my very humble home, it's not so much a soothing noise as hearing the rain pelt leaves and cement as it is the noise your toilet makes before regurgitating itself all over your bathroom floor in an retaliatory act of defiance. But for me, it's at least as calming and relaxing as forest rain.
You see, I live in Northern California (colloquially known as NorCal, a term, I'm told, that originated in NorCal's own San Quentin) where water's pretty important. Our water problem is largely due to greedy developers, short-sighted city planning, and, more than anything, the Los Angeles Cancer Basin (the area from roughly Burbank to just south of Irvine). It's a desert down there and about 100 years ago a bunch of rich guys thought, "Shit, the land is cheap here. I could probably buy a lot, plant some orange trees, and then steal water form someone else and make a fortune!" And that's what they did. Just ask the farmers of the Owens River Valley. Then, when a booming metropolis sprang up around them, they needed more and more water. Eventually, the went a couple hundred miles away and drained an entire lake that used to be not only a vacation spot for locals, but also a watering hole for the now-gone from our state Grizzly bear. And when all that water was gone, they built the San Joaquin "River," a network of artificial canals meant to take water from the San Francisco Bay Area and drive it south, to the desert (for more info, read this).
So when it rains up here, it makes me smile. It might be that I'm Irish and, therefore, genetically predisposed to rainy weather, but it's been pretty dry up here in Northern California for a few years. It'll be good to have green hills, if only for a couple days.
You see, I live in Northern California (colloquially known as NorCal, a term, I'm told, that originated in NorCal's own San Quentin) where water's pretty important. Our water problem is largely due to greedy developers, short-sighted city planning, and, more than anything, the Los Angeles Cancer Basin (the area from roughly Burbank to just south of Irvine). It's a desert down there and about 100 years ago a bunch of rich guys thought, "Shit, the land is cheap here. I could probably buy a lot, plant some orange trees, and then steal water form someone else and make a fortune!" And that's what they did. Just ask the farmers of the Owens River Valley. Then, when a booming metropolis sprang up around them, they needed more and more water. Eventually, the went a couple hundred miles away and drained an entire lake that used to be not only a vacation spot for locals, but also a watering hole for the now-gone from our state Grizzly bear. And when all that water was gone, they built the San Joaquin "River," a network of artificial canals meant to take water from the San Francisco Bay Area and drive it south, to the desert (for more info, read this).
So when it rains up here, it makes me smile. It might be that I'm Irish and, therefore, genetically predisposed to rainy weather, but it's been pretty dry up here in Northern California for a few years. It'll be good to have green hills, if only for a couple days.
I'm not really a fan of basketball. It has all the speed of soccer, the ferocity of hockey, and the strategy of checkers. Seriously, the game is all about who can score faster than the other team (perhaps an understatement, but I really just don't care much for the game).
That said, this is, by far, the most amazing play I've ever seen from a basketball game. Pay special attention to the offender's reaction after the play. It's what you might call "lack of sportsman-like conduct" or "lack of concern."
That said, I think I'll start blogging more. Once I can figure what the hell to talk about.
That said, this is, by far, the most amazing play I've ever seen from a basketball game. Pay special attention to the offender's reaction after the play. It's what you might call "lack of sportsman-like conduct" or "lack of concern."
That said, I think I'll start blogging more. Once I can figure what the hell to talk about.
gen·ius / an·ti·gen·ius [jeen-yuh s / an-tahy-jeen-yuh s]
-noun
1. unstoppable
2. highly talented dj duo
-noun
1. unstoppable
2. highly talented dj duo
I haven't written in a long time.
So long, in fact, that I'm having a hard time writing now. It's not like before, when I was afraid I had nothing to say. As the title might suggest, there are plenty of things to talk about. I could talk about the subversive power of laughter. I could talk about how some people think I work too hard, or how I think some people don't work hard enough. I could talk about my pending transfer at work to a new department, but it's not final yet. I could go on and on about the emotional malaise I've felt over the last year or so.
Or, I could write about nothing at all. Kinda like what I'm already doing.
The fact of the matter is this: I'm tired. Very, very tired. That's really the only thing I've felt over the last year. Sure, there have been other things, but when I think back on the year 2007 I'll likely remember it as the year I busted my ass. I like to think that, in that retrospective moment, I'll be able to say, "If it hadn't been for that year of hard work I wouldn't be where I am now."
So, there's that. I have a ton of projects I'd like to work on, but none of the energy. Like the video projects from my previous post. It's hard to write something that's intentionally bad and funny.
And that's all I can muster for now. Hope to have more soon. Ideally some good news, or the winning Lotto numbers...you know, after I've won.
If I win, I'll buy you each a beer.
So long, in fact, that I'm having a hard time writing now. It's not like before, when I was afraid I had nothing to say. As the title might suggest, there are plenty of things to talk about. I could talk about the subversive power of laughter. I could talk about how some people think I work too hard, or how I think some people don't work hard enough. I could talk about my pending transfer at work to a new department, but it's not final yet. I could go on and on about the emotional malaise I've felt over the last year or so.
Or, I could write about nothing at all. Kinda like what I'm already doing.
The fact of the matter is this: I'm tired. Very, very tired. That's really the only thing I've felt over the last year. Sure, there have been other things, but when I think back on the year 2007 I'll likely remember it as the year I busted my ass. I like to think that, in that retrospective moment, I'll be able to say, "If it hadn't been for that year of hard work I wouldn't be where I am now."
So, there's that. I have a ton of projects I'd like to work on, but none of the energy. Like the video projects from my previous post. It's hard to write something that's intentionally bad and funny.
And that's all I can muster for now. Hope to have more soon. Ideally some good news, or the winning Lotto numbers...you know, after I've won.
If I win, I'll buy you each a beer.
So, around 9 months ago I ran into the now-infamous Jan Terri music video "Losing You." If you haven't seen the video, you only need to watch the first minute or so to get a feel for what I'm talking about. The visual style of the video, for whatever reason, really appeals to me. Something about the washed out color, the edges of objects bleeding over one another, and that persistent screen artifact at the bottom right.
Maybe it's something from my childhood, having grown up with a VCR in the house. Maybe it's the same thing that motivated Michel Gondry to direct Be Kind Rewind. Whatever the case may be, I'm enamored with the look and have been inspired to make movies and shorts using that style.
To that end, I have purchased a Panasonic AG-155 VHS Camcorder. State of the art for 1986 (the manufacturer's sticker on the bottom says it was made in November of 1986, which would have made me 4 years old at the time). Behold the glory:
Expect crappy short films from me soon.
Continue reading My New Toy.
This year is a year to remember. A year dedicated to something worth fighting for:
Make St. Patrick's Day a national holiday.
Do it, bitches.
Make St. Patrick's Day a national holiday.
Do it, bitches.
For your iTunes or for your burned CD, here is the new cover art for the first Antigenius mix. Many, many thanks to Josh Talbot for doing this (of his own accord no less!).
I constantly feel like I have nothing to say, but, because I have this blog, that I should say something. But doesn't that raise the question of whether or not you, dear reader, and I agree on what we consider is something worth saying? Suppose you would consider what I have to say as substantial and of value, but I do not. Do I still have nothing to say? And, if I do have something to say, is it valid? Because shouldn't I be writing here for me and not for you?
This can get all very confusing from time to time.
This can get all very confusing from time to time.
