April 2006 Archives

While I dislike most of this movie for being what I consider to be heavy-handed and masturbatory, every 20 minutes or so, there's a single line a character says that's not mind blowing because I already knew it...I just didn't know I knew it. It's weird. Very, very weird.

Also, the "land of the dead" the other passenger in the boat car (played by Linklater) talks about? I've been there once.

I remember when Max Payne came out for the PC. It had been in development for years, the cutting edge technology to render it's photo-realistic environments pushing back the release date. It was rumored the engine would even render invidual bullets and casings. There was even some kind of secret, never-before-seen-in-video-games feature. The story was supposed to be a kind of film noir "renegade cop, framed for a crime he didn't commit, with nothing to loose..." thing. A third-person shooter with a gritty New York film-noir story? Gamers everywhere were excited for the release.

And, oh, what a release it was. The game actually managed to live up to the hype. The story was a weaving tale of corruption, deception, and shitload of guns. The engine was programmed to be smart enough to know what the user was looking at, what parts of the environment were being displayed, and only rendered those parts. Frame rates were high and load times were low. The subway station hallways looked like real, tile hallways. The sound was perfect. And the secret feature? User-controlled bullet time. Right click your mouse and time slowed down, but you could still aim and fire in real-time. Simply amazing.

The game sold well and, not too shortly after, it was announced that Max Payne 2 was in the works with "something even better than bullet time." Nearly 3 years later I sat down and played through Max Payne 2 and, in the end, this is all I have to say: if Max Payne was the golden child of Remedy, introducing gamers to bullet-time in a fun and interesting way, then Max Payne 2 is certainly that child's afterbirth.

I'm not even kidding. It was that bad.

Did you know if you list no exemptions on your taxes you get less moeny per paycheck, but when you file your tax return you get a boatload in refunds?

Yeah. Me neither. I'm planning a vacation.

Tonight I will tell stories so long Tolstoy would blush. I'll drink more in 2 hours than you can in night. And, come morning, I'll feel better than you've ever have.

FAQ

1. What is the Inebreiation Force?
   
   The Inebriation Force is an elite band of malcontents, swarmy elitists and raconteurs that take the notion of liquor as a social lubricant...a little too far.


2. When and where do they meet?
   
   The Inebreation Force is not constrained by time or geospacial locations. They meet when they are need, wherever they are needed. They are a rapid-response team. No situation is too intimidating, no timeframe too daunting.


3. Can I join the Inebration Force?
   
   No one can join the Inebriation Force. They are only chosen.


4. How might one be chosen?
   
   If you have to ask that question you have already failed


5. Who started the Inebriation Force
   
   Operative noodles started the Inebriation Force some years ago, though the idea lay dormant until Operative STINGER found himself chosen. Together, STINGER and noodles have orchestrated and carried out some of the world's most high-level operations in the most remote locations with only the smallest odds of survival. For this reason it is considered an honor amongst some of the more "green" operatives to accompany STINGER or noodles on a mission.


6. What should I do if I encounter someone I suspect to be an IF Operative or a cadre of Operatives on a mission?
   
   For your own safety you should find cover beneath a bartable or in the restroom.

You are all very aware of my lack of updates. I need not expound upon that point at any length. Moving on...

I have two basic worries about work right now. The first is more general and, as such, I feel might be easily allayed. Work has been keeping me very, very busy. So much so that all I feel I do right now is work and sleep (with an occasional meal thrown in for good measure). It's really starting to wear on me and I feel that if things don't let up soon, I may risk burning out. Worst of all, though, is that I haven't really had time to do anything creative. No reading, writing, etc... I come home, crank out about an hour of video games to wind down, make dinner, and go to bed (I'm in bed early these days, but more on that in a bit). I hope that once my deadlines are hit I'll be allowed the tiniest amount of breathing room. At least enough so that when I get home I'm not thinking constantly about what I have to do at work tomorrow.

My second worry is decidedly more complicated than the first (which is saying something). To frame this properly: I have been in training for the last three days. Throughout the time spent in the training room the one thing that has been made abundantly clear to me is I do not love computing so much as my coworkers. What I mean by that is this: while we are learning the new tech, I am excited about it's applications to my job and, perhaps, another idea or two. Something I could see the tech being a useful tool for enhancing. My interest stops right about there. My coworkers, on the other hand, will raise interesting questions about the tech. "Can I do A if I have methods B and C?" And the instructor will say, "I don't know. Let's see!" And fritter away 10 minutes or more trying to find out. It's not that I don't appreciate this nor do I feel like my time is wasted. Quite the opposite, really. I think it gives me a better understanding of the language.

What it does, though, is make apparent to me that I am not as into programming as these people. They have happily admitted to me that they have other jobs, consulting jobs or the like, working with computers in the spare time, outside of work. Such is there devotion. I am not like that, however, and, to an extent, I think it bothers me. I feel like the only way to really get ahead in the industry I've chosen (or, really, any industry) is to wholly devote yourself to it. By that I mean taking time to do things non-profession related once in a while, but on an average weeknight, spending your time at home furthering your expertise. I see my coworkers do this and I am torn between feeling like they aren't living enough or that I'm not studying enough. Whatever the case may be, it worries me that I may be in the wrong profession or that I do not work as hard as I believe I do.

Moving on...

I've been getting to bed early lately. I mean, like, really early. Whereas I used to clock in anywhere between 11PM and 2AM, these past couple weeks I haven't made it past 10PM without yawning. As I write this, I notice it's 10:03PM, the latest I've been up in 4 days. I know work has a lot to do with it. Two weeks of stress and wear you down. But the trouble isn't from not getting to sleep, it's from staying asleep. Over the weekend I stayed up late and slept through the night. These last couple days, however, I've gone to bed early and woken up every 2 or 3 hours. I'm never awake for more than a minute or so, but, still, long enough for me to vividly remember it now. I dislike that if I stay up late I have no trouble sleeping, but generally can make it through the day without tiring too much. The same can be said of the nights where I wake up and, though I feel rested in the morning, I still don't feel completely rested. Like something is missing.

That's all, I think, for now. It's getting late and I can feel the sleep in my eyes. Rest well, all of you.

Those of you that know me also know I am not prone to mocking another's belief system. Whatever rules you choose to live your life by is your own matter. As long as no one comes to harm through action or inaction on your part due to your beliefs I am content to know you and call you friend. I am rather curious, though, and will engage you in dialogue about your beliefs and, likely more often than not, debate the finer points with you because to truly know a thing you must fight it. I will not stand for hypocrisy, however. It debases and undermines the entirety of the belief system.

To that end let me share a story with you. On my way in to work today, I found myself driving behind an idiot. I could tell she was an idiot because she had no fewer than 30 bumper stickers on the back of her car, each with its own pseudo-clever, highly political statement. One, in particular, caught my eye. It said, in large, green block letters, "Go Vegan!" I thought about this for a moment before coming to the conclusion that this woman was a terrible hypocrite. Why? The answer, impavid reader, is simple: vegans believe that one should not harm or exploit any living or once-living thing in any capacity.

Why does this make her a hypocrite? Gasoline, the combustible fuel that powered her eco-friendly Honda, is made from fossil fuels. Fossil fuels are the result of millions of years of pressure exerted on dead dinosaurs, gigantic animals that once lived on this planet. By using gasoline, the vegan was exploting the remains of a once proud creature, something strictly forbidden by vegan law. To rectify this, I considered alerting vegans to this gross oversight and urging them to use bicycles or biodiesel-fueled vehicles, but before I could finish that thought another struck me. Plastic.

Plastics are derived from petroleum. So the biodiesel-fuled car and bicycle, with their plastic brake lines, would undermine their philosophy. Then I thought on a larger scale of how fossil fuels are used to power pretty much everything. The vegans would have to refuse service from any company not offering exclusively wind, solar, or hydroelectric power. Except, when one considers the specifics, wires used to deliver said eco-friendly power are often insulated with plastics. They could not use medicine, nor anything else, made in a factory powered by fossil fuels. As a friend put it, "Here's your stone axe and hemp shirt. Hope you don't get lice because your stuck with it for life."

Now, I know what you some of you are thinking. You're going to say, "Well, that's extreme." You'll try think think of a counter-point, no doubt on the opposite extreme about how the animals are mistreated, and attempt to prove me wrong when, in fact, you've missed the point entirely. I have taken this to the extreme, but to illustrate that you cannot live by extremes. Nothing is black or white. Maybe it's okay to eat cows once in a while, because zealously proclaiming, "No! I will never eat a living thing as long as I live!" doesn't make a good argument, much less a philosophy. And maybe, just maybe, your time should be spent trying to make sure the cows aren't mistreated before someone fires a pneumatic piston into their head.

Besides. Have you ever seen a vegan who wasn't pale or sickly-looking? Maybe there's something in honey that's good for you.

1. Be Yourself
2. Stand Up for Yourself
3. Understand Others' Points of View
4. Don't Be Afraid to Be Vulnerable
5. Never Settle

So, on a whim, a good friend Marcia sent me a link to this online magazine thinking it might be something I would be interested in. Long story short: I am now a published writer.

Needless to say, I am excited.